Why? Why? Tell me why!

I was watching TV when it hit me. I asked Ryan, sitting beside me:

"Why isn't my life like the Simpsons?

Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures?

Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms?

Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for me well being when I have problems?"

Ryan nodded wisely, and added: "Why don't you know any gorgeous babes?"