So, no then.

Prologue//

No one goes to a movie.

You watch one movie until it gets boring then you switch to another theatre and watch that movie until it gets boring.

Everyone does it.

Main//

Therefore, I was standing there, waiting for the bus, when I realized that somehow I ended up standing next to this dude I had just seen on Fear Factor. I’m not even joking.

Me: Hi.

The Dude (continues to stare forward, ignoring me, and remains silent):

Me (undaunted): So, did you learn anything at all?

The Dude (glances at me, scoffs, and looks away):

Me (even less daunted): I mean, you made an idiot of yourself on national television. Did you learn anything from the experience? From watching yourself?

The Dude: Screw you.

Here I was floored. This was the exact same phrase he had used before he had lost, mucho grando big time. I can’t believe he still said it.

Me: So, no then.

So of course everyone responded to this event the same way. Hysterically.

'ntro.

I was watching TV when it hit me. I asked Ryan, sitting beside me:

"Why isn't my life like the Simpsons?

Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures?

Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms?

Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for me well being when I have problems?"

Ryan nodded wisely, and added: "Why don't you know any gorgeous babes?"

Main.

A few days ago, we were playing basketball when it happened.

This dude, Erik (not his real name..its just even funnier if you think it IS Erik) grabbed the ball.

Steamrolling down the court (parking lot) he tried his most amazing move ever. He pulled the ball into his shirt, which then threw him off balance, and then, at full speed, he ran onto a patch of gravel, and promptly did the splits.

It was like Zoolander trying to pull his tighty-whiteys out of his pants, during the walk-of.

So of course everyone responded to this event the same way. Hysterically.

Honestly though, he was ok. The game continued, and as he got up, another of his teammates realized that he was still open...and alone in the other team's zone.

So he recieved the pass, and started to run towards the net.

Bad move: he was STILL standing in the patch of gravel.

With the speed and agility of an Olympic Gold-Medal Rock, he slipped, and fell, not two meters away from his original fall!

So of course everyone responded to this event the same way. Hysterically.

This time, however, he was closer to the hill, and the ball rolled down the hill. We waited until he got up (a few minutes..after all, he HAD just fallen twice.), then we made him go get it.

As he ran down the, his legs were still a little sore, and he TRIPPED- and fell down the hill, landing flat on his face.

"AuUgGggHhHhHH!!"

I calmly observed, "Gee whillikers, maybe he should stop playing."