black versus white. game of chess. game of life. photos.

How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?

Actually, they did have color film. In fact, those old photos are in reality color. It’s just that the world itself was black and white then.

‘Really?’ You ask.

Of course, dear reader, you see, the world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930’s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.

‘Weird’, you scoff? Well, dear reader, truth is stranger then fiction.

‘Wait’ you say, ‘then why are old paintings in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?’

Simple. You see, not necessarily: a lot of great artists were insane.

‘But…but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then’ you shout.

Of course: but they turned color like everything else did in the 30’s.

‘So why didn’t old black and white photos turn white too?’ you declare.

Well, that’s because they were color pictures of black and white remember?

Too Easy.

I think since Erik has a blog now (kinda late to jump on the bandwagon, ain't it?) he feels he can go and disrespect the blog elders. Like me.

I mean, look at my first post. It was back in 2003. Erik's blog just started this week.

When I pointed this out to him, he called me a rookie, and told me to eat a fortune cookie.

Clever, Big E.

Nothing but Illmatic, you Ill Dawg.

So I dug up this list from one of my old blogs. But yeah.

Go to Pattie's blog to diss him.

Cause i don't want that kind of garbage clogging up my blog.

:
Originally posted: 1/1/2004 05:54:27 PM

This is a list of the funniest stuff that a single person could ever accomplish in a year.
Once you read this, you'll respond the same way I did of the thought of this hapless dude doing this stuff: Hysterically.

However, to protect the ignorant individual, the name will be changed. Instead of this person's REAL name, we will simply call him Eric.

Eric:

Once said that he was putting his foot down on the matter. When he tried to stomp on the ground to prove his point, THIS happened:

First, his foot came down in all the wrong angles. It was supposed to come down straight; however, it came down SIDEWAYS.

Secondly, when his foot actually made contact with the ground, it didn't. His ankle did, instead.

So, picture this: a tall gangly kid who says he's going to stomp on the ground, then ends up almost breaking his ankle, while saying: "I'm going to step on it! That's fina--AUGHH!"
***

Once wore a Bledsoe jersey to school. Now the Bledsoe jersey has the number 11 on it. Thus, because he hadn't done anything stupid that day yet, he decided at that moment to say: "Yo, whoever wears number 11 has NO skill."
We all stared for a moment, while ERIC, completely oblivious, stood there, grinning. Then, one of us said, " Uh, ERIC, you ARE wearing number 11."

ERIC's reply: "I know."
***

At lunch, Paul was saying "..anyway, whoever likes fish and chips is mad gay."
ERIC turns around, and with a smile, says, "I love fish and chips."
***

Copies people's trademarks. I mean, do you remember when in the sound of music when "Frualine Maria" jumps up with a suitcase AND guitar in her hands and clicks her heels? I mean, the woman was charging down the street with about 70 kilos of stuff in her hands and she manages to do it TWICE while singing in a perfect voice! So, its like, if SHE can do that..how hard can it be, if you have NOThing in your hands, and are just standing there?

Well not everyone can just start jumping in the air and hitting their heels together. Well...not when ERIC attempts to do it. Not only does he miss but he falls over. HE FALLS OVER. Again, almost breaking his ankle.

***

Once said: "Honestly, who wears a watch thats bigger then their wrist?"
The answer, my sad inane friend is ANYONE who wears a watch. It would be impossible to have a watch smaller then your wrist.
***
Spent 4 days colouring a piece of paper with a pencil. The whole time, he kept commenting on his art with quotes like "ahaha!! its getting smaller!!!"(referring to the white area...I think) and "YES! Thats MAD big!"
***
Is EASILY confused and disorientated.
***
In history: Needed to rip a piece of paper in half. He was doing fine, but his ripping was only like 1cm per hour. So he sped up to about 5 cm per hour, and somehow ripped a jagged diagonal line, thereby RUINING the paper.
***
Anyway..theres more..but here are the top 8 so far...

Musings. part 1

When a person pauses in mid-sentance to choose a word, thats the best time to jump in and change the subject.

It's like an interception in football! You grab the other guy's idea and run the opposite way with it!

The more sentences you complete, the higher your score!

The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own!

THAT'S how you win!

Musings. part 2.

Today in math, I was so tired. I thought to myself, "I wonder how long it's been since I last looked at the clock. Maybe it's been an hour. Well, actually, its probably been only 40 minutes. I'll guess half an hour to be safe."

I looked.

"20 seconds?!!"

I put my face on my desk, thinking, " This is going to be a very bad day."

Teacher: "Matthew. Sit up. Okay. To review for the rest of the class as well, just remember: in algebra more often then not, using a calculator will screw you up. Really, I would strongly recommend that you did NOT use a calculator. Moving on to the next topic. Using graphing calculators (which are essential in algebra) we will spend the rest of the class making graphs!"

I went home after school. Looking back at photos of when I was two, I remarked, "Its strange. I know that's me, but i don't feel any connection to this image. Everything's so different now. (musing aloud)Isn't it weird that one's ow past can seem unreal? This is like looking at a picture of somebody else. But still. Look at that smile. Ahh...the arrogance of youth. I thought I knew everything when I was 2."

My mom chose at that moment to say, "and you expwethed aww that knowwedge wike thithh."

Me: "Now, a lifetime of experience has left me bitter and cynical. In fact, somewhere in South Africa, there is a little boy, who dreams of coming to Canada. Canada represents the perfect paradise for this poor boy. One day, I hope to meet this little kid. AND TELL HIM THE AWFUL TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE."